the best job

Most jobs require an attention to detail. Accuracy. Precision. Motivation. Knowledge. Leadership. Persistence.......

The list can continue, however, whether you agree or disagree with those requirements, a job assumes you can perform to a certain standard. Apparently, there are jobs that do not require any specific standard or amount of accuracy, yet continue to receive compensation equal to that of a highly motivated and accountable employee. You may ask what profession? What job can i receive a salary and be wrong more than often? Almost sounds like a joke.....

The answer is a Meteorologist! I don't know if you have checked your local forecast lately, but I can almost guarantee you that they were wrong. Honestly all I would have to do is watch the next channels forecast, add a degree or two and predict the wrong temperature for the day. The ridiculous part is that no matter how correct or inaccurate i was, i would receive the same amount of pay. Sounds like the best job to me!

Me time

Zoning out is maybe the most productive actions a human being can do during the day. Some people call it slacking, I call it "me time." It's not like your being lazy, its just taking a few minutes out of your day to hang out with yourself. Listen to your thoughts instead of someone else's. In fact, my favorite times to do this are when someone insists on talking about anything I have no interest in hearing. This always seems be a great opportunity to tell catch up with myself. More importantly, it keeps you from laying in your bed at the end of the night wondering what the hell happened today? It's a chance during the day to pause and escape from a hectic day. Also, by taking this little zoning out break, you give yourself the energy to move on to a next phase of the day that may demand absolute focus and may prevent mini zoning out moments. This is not to be confused with taking a nap; rather stopping to reflect and relax for a few moments before continuing with life. .................I don't see anything wrong with that.

The Trouble Girls Go Through To Have Guys Notice Nothing...

I've noticed that come an important night out, it doesn't take guys nearly as long to get ready as it does for girls. Not really a revelation, however an important fact. So I ask the question, why? Why do girls feel the need to put on all the make-up, get the hair and nails done....and so on..

Honestly, they go to so much more trouble prepping for an evening than any guy I have ever heard about. Now I'm not complaining. Because girls do look very good when they go out. However, the point I am trying to make is I wouldn't notice if they did all the prep work beforehand, or if they just hopped out of bed and threw on some clothes. It's almost like a fashion contest for them, but for who? It can't be for guys? When asked what we think about a girls hair, a typical male response is: "what about it?" Not that we don't care (because wow we really do care about how your hair looks..) but we simply don't notice that stuff. Yall already have us beat before you put any prep work into the evening, so why make us feel bad we don't really notice it?

Sweet Dance Moves

The Robot

The Hustle

The Macarena

The White Tornado (white guy spins in a circle)

The Shopping Cart

The Dice Roll

The A-town Stomp

The Sprinkler

The Moonwalk

Changing the Lightblub (self explanatory)

The Roo

http://www.bonnaroo.com/

If you haven't heard of The Bonnaroo Music festival by now, today is your lucky day. Every June on an old cotton field in Manchester, TN a glorious festival of music/arts/and hippie collide to form what is best known as...."The Roo." Personally, I have only had the pleasure once in my life, but its impact continues to show. No where had I ever been able to wake up earlier than I wanted, piece together my life, and experience more music I had never heard before with 90,000 hippies. For lack of comparision, it's like modern day woodstock. This year's lineup looks to be just as crazy as when I went and I hope to go again. The website gives a good picture of what you would be getting into, but until you are actually getting nuts with a mass of fun loving people, you will not understand. I suggest checking it out if you are unaware of the Roo.

I live to scratch!

Depending on the lottery as a source of income is obviously not the smartest move, but enough people take the chance to keep the industry going. With scratch off lottery tickets, it becomes a chain cycle. You buy a ticket, maybe win a dollar or two, but more than not win nothing. On the off chance that you win anything, you tend to buy more scratch offs. You may buy two more thinking now your odds are twice as good. This cycle could continue for a while, but usually ends up in winnin a couple bucks or nothing at all. So I just don't understand why people continue to invest so much money into lottery tickets. I know people that seem to live off the "thrill" they get from the chance of feeling like a winner, but is that really worth it? Personally, I don't see the problem in a spontanious ticket every now and then, in fact today was one of those days. Living for the scratch off and viewing it as a lifestyle seems slightly overboard. Maybe they should try a new habit like knitting, that way they will be producing something good. And hey, I could use a new sweater too.

The Permanent "Angry" Face

I don't know if many people are truly aware that first impressions make an impact. Why would anyone want to ruin a first impression without even knowing it? Apparently, some people either don't care, or they are just permanently angry. Zoolander was famous for his "Blue Steel" look, but that was just a serious face. What I am referring to is the individuals who tend to walk around with a permanent angry frown. Sometimes I want to just walk up and give them a hug or a lollipop, anything to just get them to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind, so I simply cannot relate to a person that's permanent state of mind is of anger. The only conclusion I have come to, is maybe they don't realize that they actually look pissed off all of the time? Whatever it is, maybe check yourself and see if you are one of the people that is permanently spreading anger. I just want to make sure every impression I make, is a happy one.

Internet License?

I find the internet as a great way to keep in contact with friends and family. In fact, I think its great that my 70 year old grandmother can send me chain emails from her office each and every day.....

But honestly sometimes I think you should have a license to be allowed on the internet. How many complaints are made about children visiting inappropriate sites? Or hackers stealing information and sending virus'. These are almost minor casualties compared to when old people start clicking away. I can't describe how much longer it takes them to type, let alone figure out what an attachment is. However slow the learning curve may be, the ultimate conclusion is older people tend to go overboard. I personally learned my grandmother got a facebook account yesterday, and immediately got a message saying "grandmas here." Oh joy...

So to avoid children from visiting inappropriate site, and older people from using the technology that has only been around for a fraction of their lives, I say let's require a internet license?

"Hey last night was fun!"

Public Display of Affection. Perfect examples are when your parents kissed for longer than 5 seconds in front of you. Or when your friends decided it was really appropriate to make out in the hallways of middle school. I'd like to start by saying if other people look at you strange, its a good indicator that you may be doing something inappropriate for societies standards. Regardless of the looks, sometimes it might just be nice to take into account other peoples comfort levels. You may not care that anyone sees you making out with your partner at the mall, but to the 6 year old Xbox fanatic, it may be eye opening. The only reason I bring up this topic is Valentines Day is approaching and I cant imagine PDA decreasing during the weekend. So I have come up with a solution to save the helpless Xbox fanatic. Whenever two people are going at it in public, Im going to simply walk up and say to the girl, "hey last night was fun!"